Hot n' Chewy!, Hot n' Chewy!

Hello Troops,

Time to talk about something near and dear to my heart..... the Chew Toy. Flowers are nice and frilly, but my interest ends pretty much after I'm done piddling on them. Owing to the fact that my human companions possess an unusual sense of humor, I enjoy quite a chew toy collection. Let's take a tour.....

Sometimes, one is not enough. Here we have Minkie and the Donut. More on Minkie later.

I think the Minkies (they come and go ), (because I continually eviscerate them) are really supposed to be a Hedgehog whatever the heck that is. All I know is that they have one of those damn squeakers inside them, and I will not rest until I have removed it, along with all the stuffing. This is one of my full time jobs. (Lounging around is the other).

SuperBad Human Male Companion finally made a game out of restuffing my Minkies with other items, including Squirrely, another "Plush" toy who is largely seen only as a disembodied tail sticking out of Minkie's stomach.

This is potentially a disturbing image. But not to me; disemboweling is a hobby!

Of course, by now you must be saying, "....but Miss Lucille, WHY is it called a Minkie?" I'm glad you asked. Pull up a chair, hold all my calls....this may take awhile.

Long ago, well before my time, Human Companions had another dog, one handsome hunk of maleness named Tubby. (Don't ask....) Despite his name, he was a real looker:

So, Mr. Handsome had a chew toy that looked like a monkey. And somehow, Monkey got changed to "Minkie" in doggy/baby talk. (Sick people, really. Get a life.) But, wait, there's more. "Minkie" became....a VERB! It turns out that Tubby had this habit of kneading his Minkie with his front paws, kind of like cats do. Perhaps some sort of vestigial nursing puppy manoeuver? And so this behaviour was called...Minking! And every "plush" chew toy thereafter became....a "Minkie".

Phew! Are you still with me? I wouldn't blame you if you took this moment to go get a beer.
Is this weird? Fo Sheezy. But someday when the entire known Universe is using the term "Minking", you will know where it came from. You will be among the enlightened Elite.

Finally, we got this new really odd plushie, which of course they named...... PINKIE!!!!!!!

And I'm supposed to be the Dumb Animal.

So, to wrap this up, the rest of my bizarro chewies largely fall into the weathered rubber category. The first one is NOT a kinky sex toy, I swear. I've been neutered since I was 2 so don't blame me on this one. What are people thinking when they make these things? Go figure. They must be made in China.

The next two defy any possible explanation:


In the midst of all this weirdness, finally, lies comfort:

So, there you have it, my Chew Toys,


Keeping it Real, I am Miss Lucille